An Itemized List of Charitable Contributions

Addison Smith

Nov 18th 2022

Vantablack Top (XL) $219 – I wore it once, and Connor wasn’t impressed. It was a beautiful piece, thin carbon nanotubes hugging my skin, dark enough to fall into, with tiny stars floating in the void. When he looked upon me, he was supposed to look through me, into me, lose himself in the darkness. He said it was cute and went back to shooting zombies in his video game. I went out that night, alone, absorbing the light around me. He was my fiancé. He should have been there. He probably wishes he was.


Moonglow Cami (XL) $39 – I worried I was trying too hard, so I tried this on. A camisole bathed with moonlight. He looked up for only a moment, said it was too bright, that it hurt his eyes. I offered to take it off, giving half a smile. He looked away. Still, I tried.


Persistent Vapor Robe (XL) $199 – The vapor was water, cool on my skin, never forming into droplets of condensation. I wore nothing beneath, because I was desperate. I needed human contact, and I thought the way it hid and revealed my body would be alluring, that I could be a mystery for him to solve. We slept together, but did not make love. I kept it for a long time, and always meant to wear it again. Until I no longer had to. Until I realized it was not worth fighting for his affections.


Dress of Starlight (L) $329 – I never wore this one, but it is still my favorite. Callie wore it, that night we bumped into each other at the mall. It was the night I wore my Vantablack top, and it absorbed her light. It filled me, but her glow never faded. It took a moment to realize the glow had nothing to do with the dress. We talked for hours, and laughed, because we had places to be, and I had someone to go home to. My phone rang. I didn’t answer.


Engagement Ring (Size 8) $249 – A gift from Connor. Worn for a while, then discarded.


Firelight Skirt (XL) $139 – I wore this several times, when everything was new and exciting with Callie and I. The tickling flames reflected how I felt inside, and how I wanted her to see me. And she did. I bathed in her gaze and her affections. She borrowed the skirt sometimes. I didn’t mind.


Dress of Cast Shadows (XL) $349 – I wore this on our one-month anniversary. It hid and revealed in darkness and penumbra, and when I wore it, Callie’s eyes shone. When I removed it, they were just as bright. They burn when she looks at me, in ways his never did. When she looks at me, not the fabric I disguise myself with. She held me, and I knew I didn’t have to beg.


Wedding Dress (XL) $829 – This one has no starlight. No tricks of science to draw the eye, or beg for attention. The dress was nothing but a way to display myself as I stood beside my love, her eyes on me, my face, my eyes. We laughed, because we are always laughing, and I caught the twist of her smile, and couldn’t help but return it. I thought for a long while about keeping this dress, this memento of a perfect moment. But the moment is still here, and I have all I need to remember it.

Author Bio: Addison Smith is an author and laborer living in upstate New York. His fiction can be found in Fantasy Magazine, Fireside Magazine, Daily Science Fiction and others. He has recently discovered the joys of brewing coffee in numerous ways, and will gladly talk your ear off @AddisonCSmith.

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